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~genocyber

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As some may know

Sun Jun 14, 2009, 4:25 PM
  • Mood: Worried
  • Listening to: Linkin Park -New Divide
  • Reading: Dune
  • Watching: Nostalgia Critic
  • Playing: Final Fantasy IV
  • Eating: meat
  • Drinking: ice tea
I have finally gotten myself a job as working as a part time janitor.I have been doing night shifts going from 8PM-4AM usually.The hours themselves are quite hard on me to keep working like that since we don't take breaks aside from sitting in the van and driving to the next spot.I've done 3 nights so far and will get payed on monday.I'm still not sure if this is a permanent job since two guys have been going on vacation and if I am just a slot filler.I have been feeling quite uneasy and nervous about it since I have been making screw ups and forgetting alot of things.

Frankly,this itself has plagued me for a long time.My terrible memory.Sure,I am told that everyone makes mistakes and forgets and I'll get it eventually but the fact I always keep forgetting -alot- of stuff I get told throughout my life worries me and makes me think it may affect the final outcome of my job.

I also wish that you know...I had someone to hang out with when I am not working so I don't have to sit and worry about this bullshit.But I guess you cant always have your cake and icecream.

With my pay check coming I will probably get this Lovecraft Necronomicon book I have been eyeing for awhile.Or,I might just buy another tablet.

I'm such a spend whore :B

2 Comments

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:iconrinii:
~rinii Jun 14, 2009, 4:35:51 PM
Maybe you can save up and visit with me XD
Don't stress so much, worrying about it is probably contributing to your forgetting.
Plus after only three nights you can't be expected to know that much... Particularly in a job where you don't have time to think about it.
:iconmarama-tsg:
~MaRaMa-TSG Jun 14, 2009, 6:16:46 PM
As Rinii says, stress affects memory too. The more you worry about your memory problem the more it will happen and this is also from personal experience. I am horribly forgetful too often. Including to forgeting words in the middle of speaking which leads to awkward silences and the other person trying to guess what I was gonna say until I either dismiss it or remember or they make me remember. It is quite frustrating but I've sort of started to accept that I'm probably just that way, so I ask a lot and try to write things down or repeat them in my head or out loud. Helps remember.

Also, ask yourself what was it you had to remember out loud. It's like hearing the words yourself makes your mind look up the answer.

The one thing that is apparent and I hate about me is that I tend to be clumbsy when I need to be the most careful. Normally I wouldn't care, I don't even feel shame anymore if I do something stupid. "It's already done, what's the use of making myself feel worst about it?"
I have to be delicate when near Ray but I often end up hitting him or bumping into him which causes him a lot of pain. Makes me wanna wrap myself in bubble wrap and stay far away from him so I stop hurting him. D:

--
SPECIAL PETITION: Please help my ill friend - [link]

I'LL DRAW FOR YOU IF YOU DO! Instead of commissions I'll ask for a donation of a minimun of $5 and I will draw anything you want!
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